Harold Goes to College


Release Date: September 2nd, 2023
Credits: Kona Scott, Jenny Irvinsson, Franklin Kingfish
  1. Harold Goes to College
  2. French Penis
  3. This Is An Artistic Choice
  4. Cyanide Sweetened With Aspartame
  5. Black Tar
  6. Gamers Against Cancel Culture
  7. Lucky Channel
  8. Kasso Thwarts The Reaper
  9. D3
  10. The Legend of Wojtek
  11. The Apology
  12. Dave Grohl Goes to Denny's
  13. White Apple
  14. The Life and Death of Lil HIrVy
  15. Interrobang
  16. I HATE BLINK-182
  17. Mushrooms on the Shore
  18. Asshole Obliteration
  19. I Hope That I Get Old Before I Die
  20. Now, No Novocaine
Length: 50 minutes, 18 seconds
Genre: Experimental rock, noise rock, punk, psychedelia

HAROLD GOES TO COLLEGE is the debut album by Kinetosis. After only 2 annoyingly grueling years of development hell we finally worked up the balls to make it. To commemorate this historic event, we had Jenny and Kona both give us some "insights" on each song in the tracklist which you can read below.

Think of it like the director's commentary to your favorite movie on a DVD you never use but only got because you figured you'd shell out the extra $5 for the deluxe edition with a few bonus interviews and a free poster but the poster was folded weird and you were never able to get it to hang up properly because it would always end up peeling off from the tape and you always said youd get around to watching the behind the scenes footage and interviews on the second disk but never felt like dealing with since you forgot how to use that old DVD drive you borrowed from your cousin. Anyway here it is...


Track 1: Harold Goes To College
Credits: Kona Scott, Jenny Irvinsson
Genre: Experimental rock, noise rock, punk

Jenny - Bro im ngl this is like the perfect opener. It’s energetic, it includes lyrics about fucking femboys, and it’s got an E chord. What’s there not to love? Come for the sing along pop punk chorus, stay for the totally real and not programmed piano solo, and leave for that time I said “poggy woggy uwu”

Franklin - I recall being sent this after most of it was complete. I would always tell Jenny and Kona that it's a perfect opener. It's like a litmus test - if you can't handle the weirdness of this, you may not appreciate of the album.

Kona - Main thing that comes to mind for this track to me is how fucking old it is. the first version of this song dates back to like october or november of 2021, and even the updated version that ended up on the album was written back in march of 2022. i think this song is a pretty good showcase of how jenny and i write songs together, since i wrote the first basic version of the track, then jenny updated it heavily and fleshed it out into what the final version is (giving it an actual structure, writing a new vocal melody, writing the solo, so on and so forth.) surprisingly the lyrics were written by me, and surprisingly it took well over a year of recording until we had the song in a finished state we were actually happy with.


Track 2: French Penis
Credits: Jenny Irvinsson
Genre: Ambient, Progressive Electronic

Jenny - Kona told me this is evidence I could score a film. Upon further listening honestly I kinda get what he means

Franklin - This one was weird but I liked it. It sounds rather aggressive at times which plays into it's part 2

Kona - Basically parts 1 and 2 of the same track. french penis is a pretty instrumental that sets the stage for artistic choice very well, although i admit on its own there really isnt much to talk about. as for artistic choice, mixing it was a fucking nightmare, primarily because jenny and i were uhhh well stupid and decided to make it a much more convoluted process than it had to be. it took several hours to get the final mix and by the end i had a killer headache. jenny will probably try to tell you this song is bad but this is biased propaganda; i think the song is really cool. it has a very dark and aggressive atmosphere that im not sure anything else on the album manages to capture, and its definitely one of the more eclectic and unique cuts off hgtc.


Track 3: This is an Artistic Choice
Credits: Jenny Irvinsson
Genre: Industrial Rock, Noise Rock

Jenny - Fun fact, I actually wrote this song to use in a project for my Freshman year “Intro to Media Industries” class. It was not used in the final project. We made Buzzfeed quizzes instead. Damn it and we probably would’ve won the student vote too. Damn it Josh you ROBBED ME OF A KING SIZED TWIX BAR YOU BITCH

Franklin - This one was also weird but I liked it. To this day none of us but Jenny know what the track cover image is. But it's not a penis.

Kona - Continuing my point, jenny will probably try to tell you this song is bad but this is biased propaganda; i think the song is really cool. it has a very dark and aggressive atmosphere that im not sure anything else on the album manages to capture, and its definitely one of the more eclectic and unique cuts off hgtc.


Track 4: Cyanide Sweetened With Aspartamee
Credits: Kona Scott
Genre: Noise Rock, Slacker Rock

Jenny - This is one of my favorites hands down. It was one of the first made during the great HGTC renaissance of early 2023, and to this day the melody remains one of my favorites on the album, especially during the bridge. Sometimes it still gives me chills listening to it.

Franklin - I'm still not sure what this song is about to this day. When I asks Jenny or Kona they both stare at me for 5 minutes straight before changing the subject.

Kona - I wrote this one!! this is honestly pretty typical of the style i ended up falling back on for a good chunk of the album, primarily using very noisy guitars and basic drum machine loops along with (not to stroke my own dick too much) pretty catchy vocal melodies. this one came to me very easily and i wrote it very quickly. to this day i would be willing to argue that the bridge section has one of the best vocal lines that ive written so far.


Track 5: Black Tar
Credits: Jenny Irvinsson, Kona Scott
Genre: Hardcore, Noise Rock, Shitgaze

Jenny - it’s clear to me that drug PSAs don’t work. DARE never had a visible effect on stopping kids from falling victim to drugs, especially the horrors of tobacco. Kinetosis, however is here to fix that. Just blast this song at full volume into your kids ears until they bleed and they’ll never think about smoking again. You can thank us later, America

Franklin - Growing up I had the fortune of never really interacting with DARE. I could make this entire section a paper on how the war on drugs has failed but the song speaks for itself

Kona - This one is very aggressive. it was born out of me fucking around and happening to record it, then building off of the instrumental that resulted from that. i feel that it's very in utero era nirvana-esque, and a lot of that is probably the chorus pedal layering i used in the latter half of the track. this is the first track on the album to stem from february 2023, which proved to be by far the most productive time for me for writing and recording. a decent chunk of what made the cut for hgtc was, if not completely finished, at least written in its earliest form in february 2023.


Track 6: Gamers Against Cancel Culture
Credits: Kona Scott
Genre: i dont know you figure it out yourself bro

Jenny - I thought there were synths on this fucking song until it turned out that shit is just a guitar. Also there’s no bass on here so this is basically our “When Doves Cry”. Honestly this is just one of those songs that makes you think “why is this actually good?”

Franklin - I picked out the track cover image here. I think it's very funny. I know what this song is about and know the lyrics, and I bet you don't.

Kona - This ones stupid. im a huge ween fan if that wasnt blatantly obvious and this one sounds straight off of pure guava. i recorded it in full in about an hour and i cant tell if its actually good and catchy or if i only think that because of severe ween brainrot.


Track 7: Lucky Channel
Credits: Jenny Irvinsson, Kona Scott
Genre: Alternative Rock, Noise Rock, Emo

Jenny - this motherfucker was a fucking BITCH to record. It slowed album production down by a solid month. But we did it and it turned out to be my and Kona’s favorite on the album. This was also my first attempt at mixing a song ever (between the vocals and the synths) and I think I did a decent job for my first time. Kona did the rest tho don’t take the credit off of him. This is probably one of the only songs we don’t swear on, and definitely the only one of those that also deals with more of my rampant emotional problems. Anyway I fucking love Lucky Channel the riff still goes crazy after all these months and the part in the bridge where me and kona go “daaa daaa DAAAAA daaa DAAA daaa daaa daaa” is my favorite moment on the album.

Franklin - This one is such an earworm. I would hum the tune to this song at work, in class, etc.

Kona - where do i even begin with lucky channel? this is easily one of my favorite cuts off the album. i came up with the main riff while trying to learn "i saw gener crying in his sleep" by ween, and immediately recorded it and sent it to jenny. we both immediately knew we had solid gold on our hands and would spend the next 3 months crafting it into the best version of itself we possibly could. this track probably had the most effort put into it by both jenny and i, and i at least think that it really shows. if we never release anything else after this and i had to choose a song to be remembered for it would most likely be this one, i am insanely proud of it


Track 8: Kasso Thwarts The Reaper
Credits: Kona Scott
Genre: Slacker Rock, Experimental Rock, Neo-Psychedelia

Jenny - I ended up recording this song the day I picked up an estrogen prescription at CVS. I tried humming the entire thing on my walk to and from the store from the Wegmans bus station to memorize the melody. I love Wegmans their salads are unreasonably good I actually just had another one today it was like this southwest chicken salad with ranch dressing, some corn and beans, tomato, peppers, and a bit of mozzarella and it came in this huge fucking bowl but it was only $10 and 370 calories like that shit was so worth it I went and sat at the upper level of Wegmans with my friend while we watched people and we saw this one guy with the COOLEST fucking bowler hat riding one of those shopping cart scooters and that guy was just living his best life good for him speaking of my friend thats the first time I ever met her in person we actually live nearby each other and have for over a year now but we were never able to meet until just now because she only got her license a few days ago and im still not legally aloud to drive and have i told you about how shitty the process is for amputees to get a drivers license like i gotta go through a licensed rehab program but there are NONE within like 2 hours of my location and the only one within that was 45 minutes away but it shut down with no warning a month ago which pissed me off because i called them to fucking ask about coming back to the program and they never said anything about them closing not even once so I have no clue what the fuck they were on also my dad said that he kinda had a feeling “those people were weird” which is funny of him to blame them for everything when he was the one who put me in $150 of debt for 10 months i love Mikasa Ackerman she can fuck the shit out of me any day of the week please cum in my bussy mikasa i love you because of that place and he never bothered to fix it until I had to do it for him so now my grandma is dealing with everything instead because my dad never got around to it (love you grandma sorry I dont say it enough) sometimes we go out for lunch but you know grandma cooking is always great too she makes a KILLER caesar salad you would not believe speaking of which I had a salad today at Wegmans it was like this southwest chicken salad with ranch dressing, some corn and beans, tomato, peppers, and a bit of mozzarella and it came in this huge fucking bowl but it was only $10 and 370 calories oh and did I tell you about my friend.

Franklin - I'm told the owner of the cat used to have a profile picture where the cat only had one eye and I think that is truly an incredible coincidence.

Kona - This one is about kasso, a cat owned by close personal friend of the band CHOARD. the song portrays kasso as a world war ii soldier who was killed during the storming of normandy, demanding to be reincarnated, only to be forced to return in the form of a cat. the concept is admittedly kind of ridiculous and stupid but i think we pulled it off. stylistically this is the bastard child of two early ween tracks, "the stallion pt 3" and "marble tulip juicy tree."


Track 9: D3
Credits: Jenny Irvinsson
Genre: Synth Punk, Pop Punk

Jenny - This song is 43 seconds long so ima make this 43 words. I wrote the lyrics about how I lived with a bunch of D3 athletes at the time (still do sadly) and how annoying they were. I have 4 words uhhhhh sex

Franklin - I don't really have much to say except I like the chorus.

Kona - I honestly dont have a lot to say about this one. its built off an improvised jam from february: i recorded a backing track, jenny handled vocal duties, and i think its pretty damn good. the synth arpeggio at the end of the song was probably inspired from the chorus of "never meant to know" by tally hall, although this could very well be revisionist history.


Track 10: The Legend of Wojtek
Credits: Franklin Kingfish, Kona Scott
Genre: Folk Rock, Jangle Pop

Jenny - I am legally not allowed to comment on this song. That being said Kona popped off on the guitar here and it flows pretty damn well. Banger solo too. If I make any other comments kona will be mad at me so

Franklin - My favorite track I was involved with but that is not saying much. It's good for what it is - a cute story that truly did happen! Wojtek was a bear in Iran adopted by Polish troops in exile during World War II. As the Polish troops fought to liberate their homeland by first pushing through Italy, a regiment of them grew attached to this bear and made him one of their ranks. Sadly, the Soviets established a satellite state in Poland, so he never got to see the land he was fighting for. Many of the troops visited him in Edinburgh Zoo until his death in December of 1963. If any of you ever play Hearts of Iron 4, you can actually get Wojtek as the King of Poland.

Kona - This is a cute song about a bear that killed a lot of people. vocal duties are handed over to kinetosis webmaster and glorified manager franklin kingfish. yet another track from the fiery depths of february.


Track 11: The Apology
Credits: Jenny Irvinsson
Genre: Avant Garde, Noisecore, Spoken Word

Jenny - This is actually the first track recorded for HGTC (although we didnt think it would be on HGTC). It’s been up on youtube since december 2021 so maybe its also technically the first single for HGTC? Kinda? Man back then I was so innocent. I didnt even own a pair of thigh highs yet. Now im just every male redditor’s dream.

Franklin - It works well as a little intermission. I love how Kona had to edit the start as time passed.

Kona - This is the funniest song of all time probably. 



Track 12: Dave Grohl Goes to Denny's
Credits: Jenny Irvinsson, Kona Scott
Genre: Pop Rock, Piano Rock, Neo-Psychedelia

Jenny - This was originally supposed to be a more guitar-focused song but I let Kona convince me to make it a piano. There’s like 6 layers of piano here so please try to appreciate that if you can. Also the solo still goes crazy imo. The lyrics are about me somehow becoming popular on my fucking school’s yikyak and not knowing how to deal with it or how to interpret it, which is the biggest upper middle class first world never worked a day in your life problem you could have as someone my age but here we are anyway. Shoutout to Green Car, Yellow PIxelated Alien thing, Blue UFO, Light Blue Monke, and Blue Bucket you guys are so cool

Franklin - I have never had Denny's as far as I can remember. This song really makes me feel like I am in a Denny's though - because I would be confused.

Kona - This one spent a lot of time in development hell, primarily due to complications with plans to get help recording the album, plans that ultimately ended up falling through. features very instrospective lyricism and a killer chiptune solo from jenny. it was also the last song to be finished for the album.


Track 13: White Apple
Credits: Kona Scott
Genre: Neo Psychedelia, Slacker Rock, Experimental Rock, Noise Rock

Jenny - This thing was gonna be a bside until i fucking heard it again months later and thought “fuck that this shit is great”. It’s still one of my favorites here. That outro gives me a raging erection every time, which is pretty impressive given that I’m on estrogen and can’t get boners super easily.

Franklin - I'm pretty sure this song beat out one of my own for a spot on the album but I think it was the right choice.

Kona - Another old track, this one dating back to september of 2022. this track is very heavily improvised but despite that manages to be one of the catchier songs weve written. this is one of a few songs that ive written about deeply and passionately hating nobody in particular


Track 14: The Life and Death of Lil HIrVy
Credits: Jenny Irvinsson, CHOARD
Genre: Trap, Plugg

Jenny - REST IN PEACE LEGEND GONE TOO SOON LIL HIrVy 2006-2022 ALWAYS IN OUR HEARTS WE WILL NEVER FORGET YOU also Choard is on this look out for their debut album eventually. Somehow they made their verse the funniest part of the song and good for them honestly.

Franklin - The image cover is from a video shooting for a now scrapped music video. Very tragic stuff, but I think the files are preserved if we ever change our mind.

Kona - Lil Hirvy was a rapper we found freezing on the streets of philadelphia and decided to take under our wing. with our guidance he managed to produce his magnum opus, a trap masterpiece that comments on universal societal woes such as how lil hirvy is horny and wants to have sex. with cutting edge lyricism and an ice cold flow, lil hirvy was poised to dominate the rap game for years to come, but unfortunately, he was shot dead by his ex girlfriend before a fruitful and storied career had a chance to sprout. what remains of lil hirvy is a rotting carcass, a kinetosis song, and the overpowering stench of wasted potential. rock on lil hirvy.....rock on......


Track 15: Interrobang
Credits: Kona Scott
Genre: Slacker Rock, Noise Rock, Neo Psychedelia

Jenny - Kona allegedly wrote this one because he just wanted another song on the album that sounded like this. That sounds like a recipe for filler but honestly Interrobang fucking bangs. It never outstays its welcome, the drum hooks are cool as fuck, and I wrote the bassline while sitting in the Orlando airport on a layover on my way to Utah to see Mr Bungle back in May. So technically we recorded part of a song in Florida. Sorry

Franklin - I like Ween so I like this song :D

Kona - Yet another ween ripoff from yours truly. despite that im proud of this one, i think the vocal melody is tight and the guitars sound crisp, and i would probably say its one of the better tracks on the album. the song is about how im an idiot and you shouldnt trust or listen to me, and like a lot of the tracks on the record was recorded in the middle of february


Track 16: I HATE BLINK-182
Credits: Franklin Kingfish, Kona Scott
Genre: Symphonic Prog, Chamber Pop, Art Rock

Jenny - I had no part in the recording of this song but I did transcribe the lyrics onto bandcamp. I think I did a pretty good job there. Also why is this actually funny like what

Franklin - Not gonna lie I forgot I recorded this until it was in the BandCamp tracklist. Funniest part is I don't even hate Blink-182. Enema of the State is pretty good.

Kona - This was recorded in december of 2021 in a discord call between me and franklin. the chord progression is ripped from all the small things, and franklin improvised a very loaded rant against blink-182. this is the funniest song of all time probably


Track 17: Mushrooms on the Shore
Credits: Kona Scott, Triangles Three-Sides
Genre: Neo Psychedelia, Noise Rock, Experimental Rock

Jenny - This was the final song recorded for HGTC and I helped mix it yay. Kona got our beloved twink friend Triangles to write the lyrics so this is probably the only time you’ll hear me say “pumpkin pie” in a song. Also I wrote the bassline to this one too so if you particularly enjoy that part that was me. Oh yeah and the scream at the end was my creation so same goes for that. I really like how this one turned out overall.

Franklin - I had a totally different idea for the lyrics, referred to as 'limbo' because I am terminally bad at recording lyrics but Triangles did a great job. I bet he was high when he wrote it. On what? None of us know. Not even he knows.

Kona - this is a song with some lore on its bones. the first version of it dates back to november of 2022, although it wouldnt really find its footing until i rerecorded the backing track in may of 2023. it spent a few months in limbo before we got our good friend triangles to write lyrics for it while he was sloshed on whatever combination of motor oil and horse tranquilizer he could get his hands on that week, and the results are simply spectacular. definitely one of the more solid cuts off the record, im very proud of how this one turned out


Track 18: Asshole Obliteration
Credits: Jenny Irvinsson
Genre: Experimental Rock, Neo Psychedelia, Nu Metal??????

Jenny - Now this was the first song at all written for HGTC way back in May 2021. I was fucking in virtual school doing shit for AP World but while my teacher was talking I’d just switch tabs and write this shit. It’s definitely the most experimental song on the album between the intro with a 5/4 time signature followed by 3/4 followed by a drum fill that I can’t even tell the time signature to but still goes stupid hard. Then after that I made it 4/4 like the pussy bitch i am. This was pretty explicitly inspired by My Name is Mud by Primus and Carry Stress in the Jaw by Mr. Bungle in case that wasn’t completely obvious.

Franklin - I think it's weird to write a song about taking a shit but I guess it works.

Kona - The instrumental for this one was written in May of 2021 by jenny back when we were both juniors in high school. its a harrowing tale that details the time that jenny took a monstrous shit that tore her asshole. as you would expect for a song of this nature, it has a very pretty ambient section in the middle including an organ solo. this is the normalest song of all time probably


Track 19: I Hope That I Get Old Before I Die
Credits: Kona Scott
Genre: Acoustic Rock, Indie Folk

Jenny - This is the only song here that almost made me cry. This song is actually heartbreaking and I’m so glad i convinced Kona to keep it on the album. “Its too personal” SHUT THE FUCK UP THIS IS A FUCKING BANGER. Its relatable too. Yay for feeling directionless in life!

Franklin - This song is beautiful in my opinion. It's easy to feel like you don't have direction in your life even when you do.

Kona - Wrote this one in about half an hour when i was feeling a little down one night. im still shocked how quickly i had a final version down, the song pretty much wrote itself. i stole the title from they might be giants but its okay because their song wasnt about being a schlemiel. this one was also written and recorded in february


Track 20: Now, No Novocaine
Credits: Jenny Irvinsson
Genre: Downtempo, Trip-Hop, Neo Psychedelia

Jenny - This is actually a VERY COMPREHENSIVE rewrite of a scrapped Lil HIrVy track (that also had a scrapped music video). It keeps the chorus relatively the same but everything else is TOTALLY different besides the chord progression. I’m honestly proud of the mixing I did on this song with all the synths, and Kona did a great job integrating his guitar seamlessly into it. This song is about love kinda feeling like a disease at times. Like I dont fucking want this why do I have it but at the same time I did it to myself and put myself in the situation where I got it. Also sometimes my pseudo-philosophical fantasies are broken up by snaps back to real life which are represented by the choruses. Also I like how the bridge turned out, and the intro with the samples is INSANE. The first quote is actually from Frank Sinatra in a completely unremarkable B movie from 1954, and the third one is from Jack Nicholson’s first role in a movie ever from the first adaptation of Little Shop of Horrors. Oh yeah and I recorded this with a sore throat the day of or the day before I went home for spring break. It was snowing that day. Went kinda hard ngl.

Franklin - This is the basis for that scrapped music video I was talking about earlier. I think it's cool how a song can transform. I remember hearing the original and then hearing this and being blown away at how much really changed.

Kona - This is a very very good closing track from jenny. its built from the remains of a lil hirvy beat shockingly enough but jenny managed to transform it into a nearly 6 minute fishmans-esque trip hop journey that goes through several different sections. it honestly almost feels like a mini album in itself. i think very highly of this one and on some days would probably call it my favorite track off the album. if you ever come into contact with jenny make sure you tell her she did a really good job on this one. also (also) it wouldnt be a fitting closer to harold goes to college without it also being a track from february, with the beat being finished in the final days of the month.