Porkimus Maximus Duology

Porkimus Maximus

A lot could be said about PORKIMUS MAXIMUS. But we at Kinetosis truly feels that it speaks for itself. For those of you that have already listened, Jenny has written down the full story...

"Porkimus Maximus is actually a fully fledged concept album. Basically it tells the story of our Protagonist, Porkimus Maximus, a noticeably large pig, as she is being led to the delicatessen to be slain for pork chops to feed a poor starving Russian town (this event is being depicted on the album cover). She is paraded through the street as a celebration of her coming slaughter. Porkimus, however, is unaware of her impending demise, thinking they are celebrating her for being the largest pig in Russia. In the title track, she suddenly reaches the delicatessen and realizes what is about to happen. In the quiet beginning, she looks back on her life as a pig in a somber tone, and she realizes she can’t give up. You’ll realize at multiple points the music goes completely silent, this is to represent the alarms in the delicatessen going off in response to Porkimus fighting for her life. By the end of this song she breaks out of the delicatessen and runs through town trying to find a place to hide, all the while the townspeople try to stop her. In the interlude (Bacinterlude), She feels terrible killing those in her way, the same people that celebrated her just minutes prior, but she knows it’s her only option to save her life."

"Finally she climbs aboard a cargo ship unseen and squeezes her way into the hull, where she gives birth to her son, Porkimus Minimus, part of the reason she fought so hard for her life. However, the ship as it’s leaving harbor crashes into a rock and begins to sink. Porkimus and her son are trapped in the hill of the ship, but porkimus finds a vent that her son can squeeze through to try and escape to the outside, and as water flushes into the hull, porkimus sends her son into the vent. The beginning of the final song represents Porkimus drowning in the hull of the ship, where her son escapes and swims to shore for safety. Her son’s name: Porkimus Minimus."

Much like the silent films of the early film industry, we felt the EP worked best saying so much with so little.

Porkimus Maximus II: The Revenge of Porkimus Minimus

Porkimus Maximus II is the sequel everyone asked for. Jenny recorded this in one take, and like the first installment, we said so much with so little. But for the nerds out there, we have the full story...

"We left off with Porkimus minimus escaping from the hull and swimming back to land, his fear in the dark, murky waters encapsulated by the first track. Track 2 symbolizes Minimus’s return to the village, where he blends in by looking like a normal pig. Like his mother, he grows to a great size within a few months of being treated like a normal pig. However, the village is even hungrier for pork than before, and soon Minimus finds himself cornered by a few farmers. However, minimus has something his mother didn’t: large, spike shaped tusks. He uses these to fend off the farmers, stabbing them all and feeding on their corpses. With each farmer he eats, his size grows marginally. He then gets his revenge on the town for killing his mother and trying to kill him. In Hamagammon, Minimus kills every threat in his path, skewering them with his tusks."

"But the villagers are not the sole focus of Minimus’s wrath. He then kills every pig he can find in the village for not rebelling upon his mother’s slaughter. This is depicted in Squeals of Terror. By this point, Minimus is de facto ruler of this Russian village when the residents decide to retaliate. They pool their resources and create Mecha-Porkzilla along with an army of smaller robotic pigs called the Cyborg Sowbellies. After Minimus is poisoned by eating salmonella tenderloin, the Sowbellies and Mecha-Porkzilla attack, and in the final battle, Minimus is forced to make the ultimate sacrifice and avenge his mother and defeat the porkbot army: he loses his tusks and turns his opposers into pork rinds."

"For now, Minimus is safe, but can he really keep up his one pig war forever?"